My arching heart

Today, I went into his profile and read the comment his sister left for him. I felt hurt.. Depressed.. Sad.. Even feel like crying (actually I did cry).. He had another accident with his car and he has been drinking a lot lately I know.

This is not what I want to see.. I choose to left because I thought he would be happier off without me. But from what I can see, he is still the same. How am I suppose to let go when he's like that?? It's really breaking my heart and killing me.

I don't know if he knows how deep my love is for him or not. But for him to leave me like that I've already open one eye and close the other eye and told myself it's ok and never mind as long as he's happier. But now? My heart is arching..

I know it is not my problem and worrying about it, I find this problem for myself to suffer. But I can't control it.. Why does he not understand? I know he's dyeing to kick me out of his way.. But no matter how hard he kicks, how far he has kicked me to, I still return..

I can't sleep properly lately and has no mood for class.. All I think is how is he.. Silly me but I can't help it. I've been trying to focus on my studies but his problems seems to just drift in naturally.. Like now, I'm supposingly to be studying for my 25% quiz tomorrow. But what am I doing? Blogging.. Palui!!!!