I've been here in UK with my cousin and taking care of his children can really train myself up in becoming a mother. Haha.. But I'm really scared of kids at the moment.. Really difficult to take care of. I don't think I want one next time.. I've had enough with kids. Feeding baby, carrying baby to sleep.. Even when she's asleep, I can't even put her down and myself can't even sit down.. OMG!!! I think I've had muscle on my arms now.. Haha..
Talking about kids, had a very funny conversation with Sayang. Will never and can never forget. But at the same time while I was having wonderful time chatting with Sayng during his over night shift, I've received a message from someone whom I can never believe I've received a reply from. If that person know how himself is, I'm not talking bad about you, but just to let you know, I'm not hating you, neither am I backing myself away. But for the time being, I think I'll need some time to gte you out of my mind. I feel that it is enough of living in the dark. You're not coming back, what for am I holding on to you? You and I both will suffer. Might as well I suffer alone from giving up our memories and live on my own. I believe I can do it. With the help of Sayang, in 3 months time shouldn't be a problem. But if I were to do it alone, I might need a longer time. Will come and face you when I think the time is right.
As for Sayang, I'm really glad to see him online these few days.. Being able to chat with him has brighten my days.. Both him and Sly has been the biggest encourager to me for these past 2 months. Sly would call me once a month to talk for about 30min on the phone. I really need to get something good for him, and Sayang too cause he is always there for me when I needed him. Although he didnt reply me at times, I know he'll either be out of credit or he's working. If he has the credit, he'll get back to me as soon as he has the credit. I'm really glad to say these 2 are my friends.
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