Been back from a foreign country for a long, long time. 7 months now. I do agree it does feels long. Many things (problems) came and gone.. However, there is one that came and had not leave until now. I thought it has all been thrown away and I'm totally cleaned off with it. But as time goes, it seems like I'm over confidence. Too confident in fact.
What I wish while being away was a impossible wish. But it did came through for just awhile. Sweet memories of it. However, this sweet memories with it did not last as I've expected. Once again, it came back to me, but left once more. It killed my heart for the second time now.
No matter how foolishly I made my wish now and then, knowing it will never and can never come again, yet I'm still holding on the hope of that wish. Realizing how foolishly myself had been last time, is now, and will be in the near future, hatred did not come to me on this. No matter how painful it is, I'm still not giving up on myself to continuously.. (could not find words to put in)
I'm not as taugh as you can see with your naked eyes. I'm still human and I'm still a girl with feelings. In this period of time being away, I did learnt to control myself. To not show my emotions to people no matter what. Neither have I spoken to anyone regarding about it and I don't think I will ever want to talk about it.
Feeling is undescribable. No words you can use to say it out in order for the other person to understand or feel what you have gone through, and is going through. People says understand how I feel, what I'm going through, those are bullshits!! Nobody knows how deep that the knife went into my heart, except for myself. I admit, neither will I understand or feel another person's feeling when they tell me especially everything that has to do with the word 'PAIN'.
No comments:
Post a Comment