After what has happened for the past 6 months being away from my loved one and being apart now, I have been having the 'scared' feeling on facing him. Many things ran through my mind before coming back. How I want to face him? What should my reaction be when I see him? Many thousands of questions in my mind...
However, when I got back, that day itself my challenge was to face him.. After getting his call and as I was going to the hotel, I was scared.. Nervous.. But when he is really in front of my face, the feeling is not what I thought it would be.. I face him very friendly.. I smiled and talked as usual.. No bad feeling or what-so-ever.. Not even missing him or the word 'love' to him doesn't even seem to exist.. So this is a very good sign to show that I'm all totally done and over with him..
Unfortunately, every good has its bad too.. I do agree I'm over with him, but one thing which I cannot stand hearing is his life now.. I have no idea what life he's in now as I do not know him anymore.. I don't understand every single thing he does.. He's no longer the person I used to know. He seem to be lost.. Doesn't know what he's doing or something like that.. My heart aches when I heard all these.. I want to help.. But I've ended up myself in shit now.. I guess someone in the hotel is trying to get me stay far away from him.. Everytime when I have activity that involves him, the very next day, rumours spreaded like fire..
People says that I'm back to take him back.. They have been saying I'm talking bad about him and his ex (which I don't agree on doin).. I don't know how childish can these people in hotel be. I understand the season is low and nothing much to do.. But can't they just stop nozing into people's personal life? Work is work.. Why want to pull personal life into it? So unprofessionism.. Cheah wa... Like making myself sound so proffesional.. Haha... Anyway, don't they use their brain to think, what good will it give me if I really were the one who is talking bad about he and his ex? He comes back to me? Fuck him!!! He has hurt me bad enough.. Even if he wants, sorry, everything is too late to turn back.. I love my life now.. I have my Sayang with me now.. Sayang is a better person than him.. At least he doesn't feel that my care and concern is a control..
What I'm trying to say is, whatever happens, just face the fact.. You might think it's difficult and impossible to face it, but once you are there, you will see it is not what you think it is.. So just chill and relax.. Face it like a man (eventhough you're a woman)... Hahaha...
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